The Choice

her degree and been accepted to a master’s program in comparative
literature. She thanked me for the time we spent together. She said
that one day she woke up, and she had had enough. She stopped
doing Todd’s schoolwork. eir relationship ended, which had been
very hard, but now she was grateful that she hadn’t settled for
whatever she had been choosing in place of love.
e other graduation announcement was from Todd. He was
graduating—a year late, but he was graduating. And he wanted to
thank me too. He told me that he had almost dropped out of school
when Elise stopped doing his homework for him. He was indignant
and furious. But then he took responsibility for his own life, hired a
tutor, and accepted that he was going to have to put in some effort on
his own behalf. “I was a punk,” he wrote. He said that without
realizing it, the whole time he had relied on Elise to do his work for
him, he’d been depressed. He hadn’t liked himself. Now he could look
in the mirror and feel respect instead of contempt.
Viktor Frankl writes, Man’s search for meaning is the primary
motivation in his life. ... is meaning is unique and specific in that it
must and can be fulfilled by him alone; only then does it achieve a
significance which will satisfy his own will to meaning. When we
abdicate taking responsibility for ourselves, we are giving up our ability
to create and discover meaning. In other words, we give up on life.