Soren Kierkegaard

preachedattheCitadelChurchayearearlier.“Thefirstreligiousimpression
she had of me is bound up with this text, and it is a text on which I have
placed great emphasis. I hadn’t actually believed that she would remember
it, even though I do know (from Sibbern) that she has read theTwo Dis-
coursesfrom 1843 where this text is used.” When Regine heard the words
from the epistle of James, she turned and, “concealed behind the person
next to her,” she looked in Kierkegaard’s direction and—behold!—it was
“sorefervent.”Heconsciouslyrefrainedfromreturningherlook.“Ilooked
straightahead, atnothingin particular.”Butit wasavery demandingnoth-
ing in particular: “I confess that I was rather shaken by it as well. Paulli had
finished reading the text aloud. She collapsed rather than sat down, so that
Iactuallyfeltalittleanxiety—suchasIhavefeltononepreviousoccasion—
because her movement was so vehement.”
The situation became still more agitated. For in fact, when Paulli began
his sermon he said that the words of the text are “implanted in our hearts.”
And indeed, he continued by asking whether, if these words “were to be
wrenched out of your hearts, would not life have lost all its value for you?”
Kierkegaard was not in doubt about Regine’s reaction: “It must have been
quite overwhelming for her. I have never exchanged a word with her; I
have walked my path, not hers. But here it was as if a higher power had
said to her what I had been unable tosay.” He reported his own condition:
“I stood as though on glowing coals.”
Several days later he again encountered Regine, but he could not bring
himself to greet her. It was as though the spiritual eros between them in
churchhadbroughthimtohisethicalsenses.“Iamamenabletoeverything,
but if anything is to be done, I must have her husband interposed between
us. Either/Or! If I am to become involved with her, it must be on the
grandest scale, and I would want it to be known to everyone, with her
transformedintoatriumphantfigurewhowouldbegrantedthefullestresti-
tution for all the disparagement that was her lot because I had broken my
engagementtoher.Still,Idoreservetherighttogiveheraseriousdressing-
down for the vehemence she displayed at that time.” This sounds quite
impressive, but Kierkegaard also knew himself well enough to know that
his plans would never be put into effect, because “there are seventeen rea-
sons why it cannot be done.” Seventeen was surely too low a figure!
September 10, 1852, was an especially important day for both of them:
“So, I became engaged twelve years ago today. Naturally, ‘she’ did not fail
toberightonthespotandmeetme.Anddespitethefactthatinthesummer
I go out walking earlier than I do at other times,...sheencountered me
bothtodayandyesterdaymorningoutontheavenuesbyØsterport.”When
they had encountered each other the day before and had been just about to