“Then I will die without it.”
“That’s not right!”“We cannot debate it. I have made my choice. I have chosen. The
pastors are civil servants of the Crown; civil servants of the Crown
have nothing to do with Christianity.”“But that is not true, of course. It is not in accord with truth and
reality.”“Yes, you see, God is sovereign, but then there are all these people
who want to arrange things comfortably for themselves. So they ar-
range Christianity for everybody, and there are the thousand pastors,
so that no one in the country can die a blessed death without belonging
to it. Then they are sovereign, and God’s sovereignty is finished. But
He must be obeyed in all things.”Scarcely had these words been spoken before Kierkegaard drifted off and his
voice became weak. On the way home from the hospital, Boesen became
seriously concerned. For if Kierkegaard wanted to take communion from a
layman, then everything would be turned topsy-turvy—in that case, Boesen
reasoned, a layman would of course be a good Christianbecausehe was not
a pastor.
SATURDAY,OCTOBER20. Kierkegaard’s condition was unchanged. He
was givenfolia sennæ, senna leaves, which have a laxative effect. It helped.
Kierkegaard himself believed that the effect was attributable to his having
eaten rye bread. When Boesen arrived, two nurses were in the process of
moving the man, now utterly weak, from one chair to another. Kierkeg-
aard’s head fell forward onto his chest, and he said that his illness was ap-
proaching the real death struggle. He asked Boesen to hold his head, and
Boesen then stood holding it between his hands. Then Boesen made a ges-
ture as if to leave, promising to return the following day. He answered:
“Yes, you do that, but no one knows, and we might as well say good-
bye to one another right now.”“God bless you, and thank you for everything!”“Good-bye. Thank you. Forgive me for involving you in difficulties
you would otherwise have been spared.”“Good-bye. Now repose in the peace of God until Our Lord calls
you. Good-bye!”