Pending
In bed staring at the ceiling
The ceiling is staring back
I have an unwanted feeling
The same feeling that I lack
I haven't felt it in a while
Guess I missed it, in a sense
I lost it and gained a smile
My laughter and innocence
But it left a hole behind
A hole that nothing could fill
I don't feel empty inside
I'm no longer just a shell
Do I miss crying alone?
Am I looking for a grave?
I see myself on my own
For some reason I still wave
The ocean, the deep abyss
I miss how it called my name
The voices, the fear, the stress
The signs that say I'm insane
Happiness is not my home
This life, it was misdelivered
All the roads should lead to Rome
But all of my roads got severed
Who am I beyond my feelings?
A question I'm yet to answer
A journey towards my healing
Ended up giving me cancer
I don't know, I wish I did
I wish that I could go back
I escaped out of my head
It seems I have lost my track
I guess I'll stop this one here
Not because I like the ending
But my vision can't be clear
When all my feelings are pending