marriage. 67
Hindu men ask about available mates for their children among their in-laws and
relatives in other villages, and they discuss the virtues of each candidate with their
womenfolk. Munni’s father and uncles spoke with many relatives and caste fellows
and heard of several prospects. One youth seemed acceptable on all counts, but
then Rambai learned from a cousin that his mother had been widowed before she
married the boy’s father. Although widow remarriage is acceptable among mem-
bers of Munni’s caste, children of remarried widows are considered to have a very
slightly tainted ancestry. Munni’s parents looked further and finally decided that
the best candidate was a seventeen-year-old youth named Amar Singh, from Khet-
pur, a village twenty miles away. He was the eldest son of a well-to-do farmer hith-
erto unrelated to their family. Munni’s father’s brother was able to visit Khetpur on
the pretext of talking to someone there about buying a bullock, and he made in-
quiries and even saw the youth. Amar Singh had no obvious disabilities, had at-
tended school through the fifth grade, and his family had a good reputation. Thus,
after all in the family agreed, they asked the Nimkhera barber to visit Khetpur and
gently hint at a proposal to Amar Singh’s family. His relatives sent their barber to
similarly glimpse Munni as she carried water from the well and to learn what he
could about her and her family. Before too long, the fathers of the two youngsters
met and agreed that their children would be married. A Brahman examined the
horoscopes and saw no obstacle to the match. Each man gave the other five rupees
as a gift for his child. Later, larger gifts were exchanged in a formal engagement
ceremony.
In Bengal, a prospective bride may have to pass a rigorous inspection by her
prospective father-in-law. At one such public examination, a village girl was tested
in knowledge of reading, writing, sewing and knitting, manner of laughing, and
appearance of her teeth, hair, and legs from ankle to knee.
Rishikumar...asked the girl to drop the skirt and walk a bit.
The bride began to walk slowly.
“Quick! more quick!” and silently the girl obeyed the order.
“Now you see there is a brass jar underneath that pumpkin creeper in the yard.
Go and fetch that pot on your waist, and then come here and sit down on your
seat.”
The girl did as she was directed. As she was coming with the pot on her waist,
Rishikumar watched her gait with a fixed gaze to find out whether the fingers and
soles of the feet were having their full press on the earth. Because, if it is not so,
the girl does not possess good signs and therefore would be rejected.^3