6

Building Self-Esteem

The previous two chapters may already have helped you to
gain more self-esteem. Now you will have an opportunity to
improve it further.
A teaching story from the Sufi tradition about the Mullah
Nasruddin, a combination wise person, fall guy, saint and fool
goes as follows. There was a couple in his village having trou-
bles and they came to him for help. The man got up and told
his story, and when he was finished, the Mullah looked at him
and said, “You are right!” Then the wife stood up and said her
part and what she wanted, and the Mullah looked at her and
said, “You are right!” One of their friends who had come along
sat there scratching his head and said to Nasruddin, “But they
cannot both be right.” The Mullah replied, “You are right!”^1
If only we could be as accepting as this Mullah. Instead,
we have automatic negative thoughts toward others and ourself
that are often inconsistent with reality. We have a harsh, judg-
mental inner critic that affects our self-esteem. This inner judge
makes us feel inadequate or worthless.