Step 1: Understanding the Inner Critic
Do you sometimes notice a tense, dull, or queasy feeling in
your stomach and only after a while you remember that it
started when you made a mistake several hours or even days
ago? You might feel guilt, maybe shame, and depressed.
Perhaps an inner voice says, “How could I have done some-
thing that stupid?” This voice drains your energy. It takes away
your joy and passion in life. You do not want to engage in any-
thing anymore because you are “doing it wrong anyway.”
Do you sometimes feel better when you notice or remem-
ber that others make these kinds of mistakes too? You might
criticize another person secretly or openly for their shortcom-
ings. Doing so may give you momentary relief because you
feel superior and therefore less inadequate. Unfortunately, this
critical attitude might lead to a conflict, which could under-
mine your self-esteem again.
Exercise 1:Checking What Is True For You
Some- Most of
Rarely times the time
I feel negative about myself
I feel guilt and shame
arising from my actions
I find fault with myself
I cannot trust my own perceptions
I feel different from others
I fail at most things
I cannot reach my goals
I feel as if people know
that there is something
wrong with me no matter
what I do
I feel like I am not as good
as others
I am afraid of interacting
with others“Out beyond ideas of
wrongdoing and rightdo-
ing, there is a field. I’ll
meet you there.”
RumiBuilding Self-Esteem 97