Our self-judgments continue to grow as we develop. When
our mom told us “Do not touch that knife,” we were not able to
distinguish the message, “You need to learn to function in the
world” from “You are a bad person for exploring how a knife
feels.” As we grew older and interacted with peers, they might
have teased us, which increased our sense of unworthiness.Exercise 3: Negative Self-Image
Does this come close to your experience? If so,
write about how these thoughts relate your to own
history and to your struggle with your negative
self-image.Illusion of Control
Another cause of low self-esteem through hypercritical think-
ing seems to have its origin in “magical thinking” and the “illu-
sion of control” of early childhood. As infants, we learn that
when we have a need (for clean diapers, food, etc.), all we have
to do is make a sound, and someone comes to fill our need.
Therefore, we learn to believe in our own power growing out
of the seeming reality that we are the “center of the universe.”
This belief continues until our intellectual level (age six to
nine) allows us to start understanding other cause and effect
relationships in the world. We learn that we are not the cause,
and therefore not responsible, for everything that happens.
But some part of our psyche may have kept a certain rem-
nant of magical thinking, such as: “to expect anything good
will only bring bad,” or vice versa. The psychological payoff
for maintaining this belief is that it might allow us to retain our
illusion of control. Perhaps we would rather believe that certain
events in our life are a result of our wrongdoing than that they
are caused by inevitable circumstances.
Even under the best conditions most of us retain a bit of
magical thinking and the illusion of control, and that in turn100 E-Motion Picture Magic