My client Terry had an interesting experience with this
film. For quite some time she kept telling me about her low
self-esteem. Even though Terry is an attractive woman, she
often complained about her appearance. Besides working in
a law firm, she took some college classes but didn’t think
that she was smart enough to make it through school. Terry
would have loved to become a teacher. When I asked her
about her upbringing, she told me that she had very critical
parents. She was the oldest and her parents had extremely
high expectations of her. Almost nothing she did was good
enough.
I explained to Terry my thoughts about the inner critic and
showed her the list of unhealthy thought patterns. After listen-
ing carefully she told me, “I am sorry, but I do not think that
how I see myself is based upon an unhealthy thought pattern.
Unfortunately, how I see myself looks very true to me.” She
could not imagine a different perspective.
Because Terry had such a negative self-image, she
appeared insecure at work, which made her less successful than
she could be. She told me that she did not want to date because
that would be too scary. Her few friends also suffered from low
self-esteem. I suggested she watch the movie My Big Fat Greek
Wedding and encouraged her especially to watch how Toula
transforms herself from an “ugly duckling” into an attractive,
successful woman.
When we saw each other again, I asked Terry, “Do you
think that Toula’s view of herself could have been distorted at
the beginning of the movie? What might have been her
unhealthy thought patterns? How, do you think, was this char-
acter able to let go of her self-doubts? Imagine yourself as
Toula when she lets go of her negative beliefs. What negative
thoughts about yourself are dropping away? How does this
feel? How do you perceive yourself now?”
Since Terry was very tired of her low self-esteem, she was
open to these questions and thought about them. She didn’t
know all the answers right away but kept remembering my“I have discovered that
one of the most important
keys to recovery, regard-
less of your age, sex, or
race, is the willingness to
help yourself.”
David Burns104 E-Motion Picture Magic