questions throughout the next month. After a while she started
looking much more confident. Terry thought now that Toula
may have struggled with most of the unhealthy thought pat-
terns on the list. “Toula views herself as ugly and incapable,”
Terry said. “It was obvious that she takes on the ‘shoulds’ of
her family who seem to keep Toula ‘in a box.’ ” When Terry
saw this, she had to admit to herself that she struggled with this
thought pattern herself. She understood also that she frequently
had a “negative perspective” by dwelling on the negative and
ignoring the positive.
As soon as she admitted to herself that her self-image
might be distorted like Toula’s in the first part of the film, Terry
started questioning her thinking. What if it weren’t completely
true? If her thinking was distorted, could she change like Toula
did? Terry came more and more to the conclusion: “What
Toula can do, I can do too.” Whenever she caught herself
dwelling on her weaknesses, she started questioning it. When
she noticed some real shortcomings, such as her weakness in
math, she acknowledged it and studied harder until she com-
pleted her class successfully. Before Terry would have given up
because she believed she was “too stupid to get it anyway”
(black-and-white thinking). Terry began to enjoy her classes
and became a good student. After a while and with her newly
gained confidence, she started dating too.
To improve your self-esteem, watch My Big Fat Greek
Wedding now or choose a movie in which a character goes
through a similar transformation. If you prefer a different film
and cannot remember one with this theme, choose from the
Self-Esteemcategory, under Pe rsonal Questions in the Film
Indexor pick from the following list. Each of these movies
shows one or more characters that are able to let go of self-
doubt and start believing in their strengths. They develop
their self-esteem. Focus specifically on the turning point in
the film when these characters start feeling positive about
themselves as well as the internal and external changes they
experience.
Building Self-Esteem 105