guidelines for conscious movie viewing (see
Chapter 3).
If you do not want to be by yourself, invite a
trusted friend to watch the movie with you and
talk about your feelings afterwards.
Immediately following the film, write about your
feelings. The movie plot and your reaction to it may
seem important, but focus your writing as much as
possible on how these feelings relate to a loss or
disappointment you suffered in real life and your
reaction to it.This process is an important step toward owning our pain
and deeply understanding its dimensions and demands.
Grieving is necessary so that we eventually come to find the
deeper meaning of what might otherwise destroy us. By open-
ing to our pain we learn that we can grieve and live at the same
time.Step 3: Moving Toward Health and Wholeness
An ancient people tell the story about an elder who was talking
to his disciples about tragedy. The elder said, “I feel as if I have
two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is the vengeful,
angry, despairing one. The other wolf is the strong and hopeful
one.” And the disciples asked, “Which one will win the fight in
your heart, the despairing one or the hopeful one?” The wise
elder answered, “It depends on which wolf I feed.”
We need to feed the wisdom, strength, and hope that can
come out of despair. At the same time, we need to stay in the
struggle, whatever our situation, until it is transformed into
new life.
No one comes out of deep suffering the same kind of per-
son they were when they went into it. Of course, it is possible
that we come out of it worse than when we went in. Life’s chal-
lenges can sour us. But it is equally possible if we reflect on our“We have to face the pain
we have been running
from. In fact, we need to
learn to rest in it and let
its searing power trans-
form us.”
Charlotte Joko
Beck118 E-Motion Picture Magic