attitude in the past. A compassionate and benevolent friend
would not respond critically to us about our perceived short-
comings. Realshortcomings, on the other hand, refer to defi-
ciencies we, and most of the people we trust, see in us.
Quadrant II of the Self Matrix contains the results of this
inquiry. Evelyn and Eric’s Quadrant II looked something like
this.
Evelyn’s Quadrant II
Qualities or
capacities you dislike in yourself
are aware of II
dreamy, not in touch with realityEric’s Quadrant II
Qualities or
capacities you dislike in yourself
are aware of II
struggles to accept that daughter is
growing upEvelyn identified with the naïveté that she saw in Claire
concerning the baby. Even though she didn’t consider it totally
impossible that Claire could have kept the child, Evelyn recog-
nized in herself her own dreamy ways of relating to the world.
She believed that she should be more “down to earth.” When
she shared this analysis with the group, several other group
members responded with surprise. They didn’t see Evelyn as
not in touch with reality. They saw her as idealistic but in a pos-
itive way and even admired her for it. When she heard this,
Evelyn remembered that honest friends had given her equally
positive feedback in the past. She tended to forget those kinds
of responses.
Self-Discovery Through Film Characters — The Self Matrix 139