shadow bag, he might open a door to more emotional closeness
in his relationships. It made sense to him that being emotion-
ally vulnerable and available is different from being needy. If
he could become more aware of how he repressed neediness,
he might be able to let go a bit, open up emotionally in his rela-
tionships and experience true intimacy.
Eric also looked at his strong reaction to the scenes where
Dee approached Mack romantically. Even after a long period
of soul-searching, he did not think that this had to do with
repressed and undesirable parts in him. He thought his emo-
tional response to these scenes had more to do with his first
girlfriend who left him for another man after having conducted
an affair in secret. He still felt angry and hurt by it. Eric’s emo-
tional wound from the betrayal was touched when he saw Dee
flirting with Mack.
Evelyn’s and Eric’s Quadrant IV looked something like
this:Evelyn’s Quadrant IV:
Qualities or
capacities you dislike in yourself
are not always IV
fully aware aggression, and selfishnessEric’s Quadrant IV:
Qualities or
capacities you dislike in yourself
are not always IV
fully aware needinessExercise 4: Recognizing Projected Shortcomings
Now, revisit your Film Matrix. This time look at
Quadrant IV.“The most unconscious
thing we do all day long is
what actually creates and
molds every moment of
every day of our lives.”
Lynn Grabhorn152 E-Motion Picture Magic