Now, holding this person in your awareness, begin
asking for forgiveness. Mentally whisper his or her
name and say, “I understand the hurt you have felt
and I ask you for forgiveness now. Please forgive
me.” With a sincere heart, repeat several times your
request for forgiveness. Then take some moments of
silence and let yourself open to the possibility of
being forgiven.
Part II — Forgiving Yourself
Bring to mind the shortcoming that feels
unforgivable. Sense what feels so bad about your
unforgivable behavior, emotion, or way of thinking.
How does it make you feel about yourself? How
does it prevent you from being happy? Allow
yourself to feel the pain that makes you want to
push away the undesired part of yourself.
Now explore more deeply what is driving this
unacceptable part of your being. What need are you
trying to satisfy? What fear are you trying to soothe?
As you become aware of underlying wants and fears,
allow yourself to feel them directly in your body,
heart, and mind.
Begin to offer a sincere message of forgiveness to
whatever feelings, thoughts, or behaviors you are
rejecting. You might mentally whisper the words: “I
see how I’ve caused myself suffering and I forgive
myself now.” Or you might simply offer yourself the
words “Forgiven, forgiven.” Meet whatever arises —
fear or judgment, shame or grief — with the message
of forgiveness. Allow the hurt to untangle in the
openness of a forgiving heart.
Part III — Asking for Forgiveness
If you have hurt another person and if it is possible
and appropriate, ask this person for forgiveness now.
“For in the dew of little
things the heart finds its
meaning and is refreshed.”
Kalhil GibranPowerful Tools for Healing and Growth — The Growth Matrix 161