It might be difficult but most likely very rewarding.
The meditation will have prepared you for making
amends.
First you may feel as if you are simply “going
through the motions” and believe that you are not
actually capable of forgiving yourself. You might
believe you don’t deserve to be forgiven. You might
be afraid that if you forgave yourself, you would just
do the same thing again. If these doubts and fears
arise, acknowledge and accept them with compassion.
Then say to yourself, “It is my intention to forgive
myself when I am able.” Your intention to forgive is
the seed of forgiveness. This willingness will gradually
open your heart.Exercise 2: Releasing Your Inner Critic
We sometimes judge ourselves harshly instead of
adjusting our high standards or forgiving ourselves
for a mistake and subsequently learning from it. In
this process, we activate the inner critic. This part of
our psyche attacks us for behaviors, thoughts, and
feelings of which we do not approve. Everyone
experiences his or her inner critic in different ways.
Your inner critic may sound like a real, possibly
obsessive, voice in your head. Or you might experience
its attacks as a dull or aching feeling in your stomach,
increased tiredness, numbness, tension, guilt, shame,
hopelessness, fear, or a loss of energy. Byron Brown
in Soul without Shamedescribes the following
powerful ways to become fully aware and
consequently release the “Inner Judge.”^3
In order to become fully conscious of your inner
critic, try an experiment. Think back while
remembering what you wrote in Quadrant II of
your Self Matrix.“For something to change,
it first has to be
accepted.”
Carl Gustav
Jung162 E-Motion Picture Magic