sacrifice her desire to increase her computer skills
in favor of her career.
Another friend, Max, would have loved to be able
to play an instrument, but after trying for a long
time he noticed that he did not have much talent for
it. He had to bury his dream.
If you become aware of your real shortcomings
after you recognize them in a film character, and
you criticize yourself for them, do not skip exercises
1, 2 and 3. These tools can help you make a first
step toward acceptance and compassion for these
undesirable qualities.
Full acceptance might only be possible if you allow
yourself to grieve that you are not able to overcome
your real shortcomings, at least for right now. In
Chapter 7, Grief and Transformation,I introduced
six exercises designed to help you with this grief.
Revisit them and make sure that you watch one of
the mentioned movies in the suggested way.Exercises for Quadrant III
In Quadrant III of your Self Matrix you noted your posi-
tive qualities and capacities of which you are not always com-
pletely aware. Admiring these qualities in a movie character
helped you discover that you have at least traces of these qual-
ities or you carry the potential to develop these attributes in
yourself. You might have learned through feedback from oth-
ers, like Evelyn and Eric in the group, or discovered that
somewhere inside you, possibly a little hidden away, that you
possess some of these positive qualities. Increasing awareness
about these attributes or their potential is an important first
step. The following guided meditation can help you reach into
the deeper layers of your soul in order to gain increased
awareness.
“Films, because they often
reframe fictional crisis,
are ideal vehicles for
reframing the problems of
clients and for causing
clients to entertain
productive doubts.”
John W. Hesley
& Jan G. HesleyPowerful Tools for Healing and Growth — The Growth Matrix 171