man’s own anger scares him more than the other person. After
reacting only to the actions of the other in unconscious ways
for a long time, both became aware of themselves, their own
behavior, and the subsequent consequences. This enabled both
men to start taking responsibility for their actions, develop
empathy for the other, and find inner peace again.
A client of mine, a young woman named Nancy, came to
see me to work on her sudden outbreaks of anger. She was
afraid that her uncontrolled outbursts might damage her mar-
riage. First Nancy learned different ways of managing her
anger, but rage would sometimes well up in her so suddenly
and strongly that she felt overtaken and out of control.
Things became more manageable when she learned to
become consciously aware of the very first onset of rage
toward her husband, Rob. Exploring the possible origins of her
anger also led to enlightening insights. But Nancy’s real break-
through happened after I asked her to watch the video
Changing Lanes. I instructed her to watch the movie while
simultaneously applying the concept of conscious awareness.
Her husband watched the film with her.
In our next session Nancy told me that at first she com-
pletely identified with Doyle and his anger when Gavin said:
“Better luck next time!” She started yelling at Gavin on the tel-
evision. ”How can you do this!” She almost got into another
fight with her husband who had a more removed perspective
and questioned Doyle’s response to the insult. Nancy felt angry
about the indifference she thought she had perceived in Rob. In
her already upset state she could not objectively hear what he
said. She understood him to say something like “So what?” in
response to Gavin’s “Better luck next time!” But rather than get
into a fight with Rob, she remembered my suggestion about
conscious awareness and noticed what had just happened
inside her. They turned off the video and talked.
Having just seen on the screen almost exactly what she
experienced inside, it was much easier for Nancy to step back
and reflect on what happened as her anger rose in her.
“We live in a consensus
trance that is a much
more pervasive, powerful,
and artificial state than
ordinary hypnosis.”
Charles TartWatching Movies With Conscious Awareness 39