THE BODY IN FLOW ■ 101urge. The saying that “love makes the world go round” is a polite
reference to the fact that most of our deeds are impelled, either di
rectly or indirectly, by sexual needs. We wash, dress, and comb our
hair to be attractive, many of us go to work so as to afford keeping a
partner and a household, we struggle for status and power in part so
as to be admired and loved.
But is sex always enjoyable? By now the reader might be able to
guess that the answer depends on what happens in the consciousness
of those involved. The same sexual act can be experienced as painful,
revolting, frightening, neutral, pleasant, pleasurable, enjoyable, or ec
static—depending on how it is linked to a person’s goals. A rape may
not be distinguishable physically from a loving encounter, but their
psychological effects are worlds apart.
It is safe to say that sexual stimulation in and of itself is generally
pleasurable. That we are genetically programmed to derive pleasure from
sexuality is evolution’s rather clever way of guaranteeing that individuals
will engage in activities likely to lead to procreation, thus ensuring the
survival of the species. To take pleasure in sex one needs only to be
healthy and willing; no special skills are required, and soon after the first
experiences, few new physical challenges arise again. But like other
pleasures, unless it is transformed into an enjoyable activity, sex easily
becomes boring with time. It turns from a genuinely positive experience
into either a meaningless ritual or an addictive dependence. Fortunately
there are many ways to make sex enjoyable.
Eroticism is one form of cultivating sexuality that focuses on the
development of physical skills. In a sense, eroticism is to sex as sport is
to physical activity. The Kama Sutra and The Joy of Sex are two examples
of manuals that aim to foster eroticism by providing suggestions and
goals to help make sexual activity more varied, more interesting and
challenging. Most cultures have elaborate systems of erotic training and
performance, often overlaid with religious meanings. Early fertility rites,
the Dionysian mysteries of Greece, and the recurring connection be
tween prostitution and female priesthood are just a few forms of this
phenomenon. It is as if in the early stages of religion, cultures coopted
the obvious attraction of sexuality and used it as a basis on which to
build more complex ideas and patterns of behavior.
But the real cultivation of sexuality begins only when psychologi
cal dimensions are added to the purely physical. According to historians,
the art of love was a recent development in the West. With rare excep
tions, there was very little romance in the sexual practices of the Greeks
and the Romans. The wooing, the sharing of feelings between lovers, the