ENJOYING SOLITUDE AND OTHER PEOPLE ■ 1 75ordinary circumstances, solo sailors have plenty to keep their minds
occupied. Their survival depends on being ever alert to the conditions
of the boat and of the sea. It is this constant concentration on a work
able goal that makes sailing so enjoyable. But when the doldrums set in,
they might have to go to heroic lengths to find any challenge at all.
Is coping with loneliness by letting unnecessary yet demanding
rituals give shape to the mind any different from taking drugs or watch
ing TV constantly? It could be argued that Dorothy and the other
hermits are escaping from “reality” just as effectively as addicts are. In
both cases, psychic entropy is avoided by taking the mind off unpleasant
thoughts and feelings. Yet how one copes with solitude makes all the
difference. If being alone is seen as a chance to accomplish goals that
cannot be reached in the company of others, then instead of feeling
lonely, a person will enjoy solitude and might be able to learn new skills
in the process. On the other hand, if solitude is seen as a condition to
be avoided at all costs instead of as a challenge, the person will panic
and resort to distractions that cannot lead to higher levels of complexity.
Breeding furry dogs and racing sleds through arctic forests might seem
like a rather primitive endeavor, compared to the glamorous antics of
playboys or cocaine users. Yet in terms of psychic organization the
former is infinitely more complex than the latter. Life-styles built on
pleasure survive only in symbiosis with complex cultures based on hard
work and enjoyment. But when the culture is no longer able or willing
to support unproductive hedonists, those addicted to pleasure, lacking
skills and discipline and therefore unable to fend for themselves, find
themselves lost and helpless.
This is not to imply that the only way to achieve control over
consciousness is to move to Alaska and hunt moose. A person can
master flow activities in almost any environment. A few will need to live
in the wilderness, or to spend long periods of time alone at sea. Most
people will prefer to be surrounded by the reassuring hustle and bustle
of human interaction. However, solitude is a problem that must be
confronted whether one lives in southern Manhattan or the northern
reaches of Alaska. Unless a person learns to enjoy it, much of life will
be spent desperately trying to avoid its ill effects.
Flow and the Family
Some of the most intense and meaningful experiences in people’s lives
are the result of family relationships. Many successful men and women
would second Lee Iacocca’s statement: “I’ve had a wonderful and suc
cessful career. But next to my family, it really hasn’t mattered at all.”