MARCH 2022 T3 27Opinion
here’s no doubt that
streaming services
have revolutionised
television. The ability to
watch, in theory, any TV show or
movie immediately is an incredible
thing, and the original content
made by the likes of Netflix,
Disney+, Amazon Prime et al has
made TV shows feel universal in
a way they haven’t for decades.
It’s like when there were only four
channels, so practically everyone
watched the hot shows.
So yes, streaming is a marvellous
thing, but for me there are a few
tiny flaws. Just little things such as:
I don’t like the original content, the
cost is ridiculous and the amount
of choice becomes actively
oppressive. Just little things.
I’ve recently been carrying out
an audit of my spending. That’s
because my energy bills are now so
high, I have calculated I could set
fire to a pile of fivers on my balcony
and use that to heat my house, and
actually save money. I was alarmed,
then, to discover I was now
spending over £70 per month on
streaming services. Given the
relatively small amount of time I
spend watching TV, I would need
to develop multiple levels of
consciousness to get my money’s
worth. Then I could lounge
drunkenly in front of 12 tellies at
once, all showing different things –
like David Bowie in The Man Who
Fell to Earth. But, realistically, I don’t
think that’s going to happen.Furthermore, a further audit
of my watching habits revealed
that I mainly use streaming services
to watch crappy old films that I’ve
already seen. Sometimes, I even
own them on Blu-ray as well. Things
such as the early films of Italian
director Pier Paolo Pasolini on BFI
Player, movies from the 1970s ‘new
Hollywood’ on Amazon Prime
Video and Hellbastard 6: Die Slowly
on Shudder, the horror movie
streaming specialist. Why? Well, to
be honest, I find much of the new
stuff on streaming services to be
arse-smeltingly dull.stuffers
like Cash in the
Attic, Neighbours or The One Show.
Instead, they must commission
yet another glossy UHD time-filler
where Tom Hanks or Julia Roberts
must face an uncertain future in a
post-apocalyptic landscape. Or a
series where a photogenic family
must go on the run, for reasons. Or
a fish-out-of-water visitor brings
heart-warming life lessons. Or
another lump of content dreamed
up by an algorithm to fit what the
streamer thinks your demographic
is. The production values and talent
involved in the streaming services’
flagship shows is absolutely
incredible, yet the viewing
experience is usually forgettable.
So I’ve decided I am going to
limit myself to Amazon Prime
Video. This underrated service wins
out for me for a number of reasons.
It has a decent range of movies and
TV shows, especially slightly more
high-brow stuff and music
documentaries. Some of its original
content isn’t bad. Perhaps best of
all, the amount of choice is not
overwhelming, and if it doesn’t
have what I want in its free section,
I can just buy or rent a stream
instead, like Blockbuster for the 21st
century. Even better, it comes ‘free’
to Amazon Prime members, which
frees up valuable cash to throw on
my heating bonfire. Mmm, toasty.The talent involved
is incredible, yet the
viewing experience is
usually forgettable
The studio arms of the
revolutionary, game-changing
streaming services have now run
into the same problem that the
boring old BBC has faced for a
century. You have to fill up the
airwaves – or bandwidth in this case- with something, and not everything
is going to be brilliant, far from it.
Yet with their huge budgets and
the massive competition for
subscribers, streaming services
can’t just make no-budget schedule
T
Duncan Bell
is running out
of stream
There is definitely such a thing
as too much choice when it comesto streaming services