The Third Stage: From Age Fifteen to Twenty-one.
TheProphetdescribedthisstageofupbringingasfollows:“Thechild...
isanadviserfor[thenext] sevenyears.” Atthe ageof fourteen,fifteen
andup,aMuslimchildisexpectedto havebecome aresponsibleteen-
ager.Therefore,theProphetsaysthatthe parentsshouldnowtreathim
or her more like a ‘friend’ than a ‘slave’.
Atthisstage,theparentsshouldguideandhelptheirteenagechildin
makecorrectdecisions forthemselves.Inmid-andlate-teens,thechild
hasto startthe specific training or education forthe careerthat he in-
tendstopursuesothathemaysoonstandonhisownfeet.Itisalsothe
time when the child is nearing the age of marriage.
Islam has strongly emphasized that the parents should get their
daughtersmarriedatanearlyagewhentheyhaveacquiredmentalma-
turity—theirhighereducationcancontinueevenaftermarriagebutmar-
riageshouldnotbepostponedforthesakeofanythingelse.Thecondi-
tion of mentalmaturity cannotbe measuredbyage or time. Thesame
emphasis goes for male children.
Attheageoftwentyone,theparents’responsibilitytowardstheirchil-
drencomestoanend.IfanyonebringsuphischildrenbasedonIslamic
values,thatchildsurelywillbetheappleoftheparents'eyesandthede-
lightoftheirhearts;anditisthischildwho,inhisturn,maybehopedto
fulfil his obligations towards his parents.
The Prophet said,“A virtuous child is aflower from the flowers of
Paradise.”Healsosaid,“Amongthegoodfortunesofamanisthevirtu-
ous child.”
* * *This lesson is based on `Allamah Sayyid Saeed Akhtar Rizvi's
The Family Life of Isam(Revised Edition, 1980)
with additions and modifications made for this course.