UlTImATE SUccESS GUIdEFast forward a few years and I became the ultimate vagabond, mov-
ing from one family home to another, a grandmother here, an uncle or
auntie there, being an optimist has it’s benefits, I buried myself in books
and have successfully blocked out any real negative feelings I have
about that time. I do remember being deeply loved by my grandparents,
parents, aunts and uncles who cared for me and cared for my parents.
My recollection of hushed conversations and adult discussions are a bit
blurry. It wasn’t until 3rd grade that my world of collective upbringing
came to a screeching halt. My father, who was in university 3000 miles
away, was finally graduating, and unbeknownst to me, I was going to
live with him. At the time, I barely knew him, he was the cool guy that
came to visit a few times a year on his motorcycle.
When I arrived in San Francisco, I had no idea that the visit would be
permanent. It was quite a shock, insta-dad. Even I knew he was barely
a kid. I must have complained for the first few years straight. In retro-
spect, he did a fantastic job, never throttled me, and somehow made me
a priority in his life. I used to think that my experience of change was
unique; I was the only one reinventing myself every day, learning to pay
attention to the nuance of communication. Now that I am older, I know
that everyone has some unique story unique to them. That experience
taught me some crucial lessons.
I was given an amazing amount of freedom, had very little oversight
and was instilled with the notion that if you wanted to do anything in
life, you had to take complete responsibility for it. I learned to value ap-
prenticeship, learning from others mistakes and successes, I discovered
some false gods – those who professed to know it all yet were human
and fallible as we all are. I learned of craft, artistic expression and ex-
pertise acquired through years of hard work. I learned the art of listen-
ing, a chess game of discovery that is multilayered. I also learned to
befriend others, to choose my friends wisely, but be accepting of those
that are different than me. The lessons in this book are as reflections on
a younger me and letters to my children, tools for success in a world a
constant change.
DeFIne YoUR oWn selF WoRthWe all get bombarded with ideas about what it is to be special, from par-
ents, friends, family, outside influences. What I’ve learned is that others
will never know exactly what goes on in your head. True self worth has