E4 PG EE THE WASHINGTON POST.SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 20 , 2022
There are plenty of us who
would love to take their place.
Acquiring a caregiver via word
of mouth is, in my humble
opinion, still the best.
Agencies do not seem to
screen well.
— Mary Ann, RRT/Nurse
PractitionerMary Ann: As our population
continues to age, and our health-
care and family systems are
stretched to the max, home care
workers are an extremely
important (and often underpaid)
sector of our economy.
Thank you for doing this
work, and for your useful advice.Amy's column appears seven days a
week at washingtonpost.com/advice.
Write to [email protected]
or Amy Dickinson, P.O. Box 194,
Freeville, N.Y. 13068. You can also
follow her @askingamy.© 2 022 by Amy Dickinson distributed by
Tribune Content Agencylovely and satisfying mitzvah
that might then give you the
strength to put the other odds
and ends in a cardboard box at
the end of your driveway with a
sign marked “FREE” on it.
I'm sure readers will weigh in
with suggestions.Dear Amy: I’m a retired health-
care professional. Currently I
work part time caring for the
elderly in their homes and have
been for about five years.
I’m responding to the recent
question from “Worried,”
regarding the home care workers
they had hired to care for their
100 -year-old father, who were
then hitting the family up for
loans and financial gifts.
It is well worth the money to
perform an intensive
background check on any person
who one may hire, through an
agency or not.
If a caregiver starts asking
clients about loans, etc., that
person should be dismissed.a picture — but then, yikes —
tossing it just seems more than I
can manage, as I envision it in a
landfill, cold, and alone.
Yes, I know it’s not alive, but
this does not feel good.
Help!
— Stuck with the MemoriesStuck: Researching your
question, I happened upon a
discussion thread on Reddit
detailing various “toy hospitals”
that repair well-loved but
“injured” stuffed animals.
I read tales of school nurses,
veterinarians, and overall good
and kind souls who will restuff
and stitch up a stuffed toy in
special “clinics.”
And yes — seeing some of
these before and after pictures
brings a tear to the eye.
Having this panda repaired
would definitely qualify as an
“heroic measure,” but doing so
and then bestowing this animal
on a child (who might continue
to love it well) would qualify as aperson,” which sort of defeats the
purpose.
I can understand why this
failed correction rankled you,
but I hope you will shake it off as
the actions of an active and
engaged mom who perhaps was
over-momming (oops,
overPARENTING) in the
moment.Dear Amy: I’m all for asking
what “sparks joy” and what
doesn’t as I go through periodic
pandemic-inspired cleaning-out
of closets, files, etc., throughout
our house.
It's gone well — for the most
part. But what am I to do with
things I no longer want that are
not worth donating, but I can’t
bear to just toss in the trash?
For instance: An old, well-
loved but falling-apart stuffed
panda bear from the 1950 s that
originally belonged to my aunt.
I have a number of things that
would fall into this category.
Yes, I can thank it, hug it, takenot to become an example of
how ignorant grandparents can
be.
Am I overreacting?
— Just WonderingWondering: I have to laugh (a
little bit) because for many
readers, the headline here will
be: “Three Children Reported to
Have Written Thank You Notes.
Story at 11!”
So — this mom has done a
good thing in teaching your
grandchildren to express their
appreciation in this way.
And — it seems that maybe
she can’t stop teaching, although
her correction of mailman to
“mailPERSON” prompted
another chuckle (from me),
because I do believe that the
correct and gender-free
description of the person doing
this job is either “postal worker”
or “letter carrier.”
And you can understand why
this is: MailPERSON, when
spoken, sounds like “MaleDear Amy:
Something is
bothering me that
I just can’t shake,
and I’d welcome
your opinion.
My husband and I have three
young grandchildren who live
across the country. We are
seldom able to visit in person, so
we use FaceTime to stay in
touch.
Yesterday while chatting with
the kids (all younger than 10), I
mentioned that “the mailman”
delivered their Christmas thank-
you notes.
I told the kids how much I
appreciated their notes.
Off-camera, I heard my
daughter-in-law say:
“mailPERSON.”
I was a little hurt and a lot
irritated that she would correct
me like that.
It’s not as if I had used a
derogatory term — I would never
do that! My intention was simply
to thank the kids for their notes,
Grandma irked by daughter-in-law’s correction as she was thanking the kids
Ask Amy
AMY
DICKINSON
(240) 335-7017
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