through trial and error. Everything is brand new, and the toddler likes and needs to explore
and touch and taste.
Language develops. A first child will likely learn language primarily from his mother.
Later children might have less time with their mothers but will learn language from their
older siblings as well, and their early language may reflect these differences. Individual words
may be spoken less clearly, but the child could be speaking in distinct sentences earlier.
A toddler needs reassurance and also limits. He needs safety and affection. Both girls
and boys like nonthreatening and loving characters on TV and in toys, and they tend to
relate to the way these characters look and feel. By the age of two they’ll recognize and
relate to a stuffed Elmo or Barney.
Around this age come the “terrible twos.” The toddler wants to do everything himself
(although he may still be incapable of many skills), resulting in out-of-bounds behavior and
temper tantrums. Children may pay no attention to what they are asked to do, or they may
say “no” to everything. They are learning independence. Tired or hungry toddlers are likely
to morph into difficult toddlers—the Tantrum Monsters right out of a mother’s nightmares.
Children can fear noises, animals, the water swirling down the drain. During the first three
years of life a child may not have matured enough to make necessary judgments about right
and wrong. The life of a child of this age is centered on himself. There is still much wiggling,
laughing, squealing, and crying. The key issue, according to Erickson, is autonomy, asserting
independence.
Toddlers are beginning to learn social skills: some sharing, loving, self-control. Some chil-
dren at this age already attend playgroups, mommy-and-me get-togethers, or classes with
simple gymnastics or music. But at this time there is not much cooperative play between
children. They will probably play side by side rather than together.
Children at this age are easily distracted, but they may be interested in something for a
considerable period of time ifthey are learning things that appeal to them. Experts believe
that the critical period for early musical learning is not until around age two and a half, but
earlier involvement with music could help with the development of logic and math skills.
There appears to be some correlation. Toddlers might enjoy watching TV, especially if there
is interactivity (such as singing and dancing) and reassuring characters. They enjoy the simple
humor of surprise (the jack-in-the-box, simple slapstick), but they quickly become overex-
cited and overtired. Because learning takes processing time, and young children have all the
time in the world, activities and learning should be paced more slowly and simply.
Preschool (Ages Three to Five)
Thinking is no longer limited to immediate perception and motor activities. A child can play
out scenarios in his head. Thinking is still centered on the child herself, but by age three many
children can communicate well. Toilet training is complete or almost complete. The “terrible
twos” are over, and most children want to do things the correct way.They conform to routines.
The majority of children this age will still play side by side rather than together. There
is still much wiggling, shoving, hitting, running, and jumping. Sharing is hard to do. Preschool-
ers may boss others and tattle to adults. They might show off. They’ll probably grumble and
whine. They could be pokey and impossible to hurry along. The younger preschoolers may
appreciate a slower pace than the older ones.
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