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Chapter 4


therelationshipskillsandcompetencies
theywillneedinfuturelong-term
relationshipsandmarriage(Manningetal.,
2006).Hookupsareassociatedwithsexual
risktaking,suchassexuallytransmitted
diseasesandunplannedpregnancy
(Manningetal.,2006).
Kastner(2004),psychologistand
adolescentresearcher,suggestsyoung
peopleperceivelesscostinhookingup
becauseiteliminatesthechanceof
heartbreakwhenit’sover.However,the
consequencetofuturerelationshipscanbe
great.Kastnerseeshookingupas“a
negativemudslide”whichleadsto
incompetenceinintimaterelationships.


Perhaps the most serious consequence
is spiritual.As Christians,we are called to
kingdom living despite the culture around
us.Sometimes as Christians,we lie to
ourselves,especially about sexual sin.


Young people may see hooking up as an
alternative to sex.They push the
boundaries of sexual behavior just short
of intercourse,ignoring the psychological,
emotional and spiritual side effects.
Sexuality in general and sexual intercourse
specificallyaregiftsfromGodformarriage.
Hooking up does not embrace sexuality as
the gift God intended for it to be.

Electronic Dating

Internet dating has gained increasing
popularity.Of American internet users
who are single and interested in dating,
74% report they have used the internet in
some fashion to further their romantic
interests.About 30 millionAmericans,or
15% of American adults,say they know
someone who has been in a long-term
relationship with or married someone
they met on the internet (Madden &
Lenhart,2006).This can occur through an
online chat room,or,more elaborately,
through a service which scientifically
matches people on certain characteristics.
Two major questions surround internet
dating.Is electronic dating effective? Can
it be dangerous?
Of 10,000 internet users looking for a
romantic relationship,66% believe
internet dating is potentially a dangerous
activity,with females representing a higher
percentage than men.Problems identified
with online dating include others having

“Ifyou’rehavingcasualsexat16,you
don’thavetheconfidencetomoveonto
datingat18becauseyoudon’tknow
how,”shesays.“At20,youfeeleven
moreawkwardsoyouavoiddatingeven
more.At22,you’reliketheclientIsaw
lastFriday.Sheknowshowtohangin
bars,flirt,andgohomewithahookup.
Shedoesn’tknowhowtospendtime
withaperson,oneonone.Thatscares
her.Shefeelslikealoser,shefeels
disconnectedandempty,andhaslow
self-esteem.”(Kastner,2004)
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