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Chapter 4

Premarital Sex

Godcreatedhumanbeingsassexual
creatures.Unlikemanyotherspecieswho
copulateindiscriminately—muchlike
takinginfood—humansexualityishighly
connectedtoemotionaldrives.Godcreated
humansinsuchawaythatreproduction
ideallyrequiresacertaindegreeof intimacy.
Thisismuchmorethansimplebiology—
humansexualityiscoupledwithmany
socioculturalandpsychologicalfactors.
Authentic Sexuality.TheBalswicks(1999,
2008)explaintheneedforauthentic
sexualityinordertobeeverythingGod
createdhumanstobe.Sexishighly
distortedinWesternculture,promotedby
imageswhichisolatethephysiologyof sex
fromthesocioculturalcontextof sex.For
example,menandwomentodayhavemany
opportunitiestogazeatscantilyclad
womenandmen—throughadvertisements,
television,movies,andparticularlythe
internet.Itispossibletoachievesexual
gratificationwithouteverdevelopingan
emotionalattachmenttothepeopleinthe
images.Families,communities,and
churchesalsomaygivecontradictory
messagesaboutthemeaningof human
sexuality.Forexample,yourfamilyand
churchmaygivethemessagethat
premaritalsexisasin,whileyour
communityactuallymayencourage
premaritalsexualactivity.Yourchurch
mightassertcertaintypesof sexualactivity
aresinfulandothertypessacred,causing

youtobeconfused.Often,churchesand

familiesdonotsaymuchaboutsexuality—

if itisdiscussedatall.Thesecontradictory

messagesmaycauseindividualstobe

confusedabouttheirownsexuality.

Ultimately,thisconfusionleadstoan

inauthentic,distortedsenseof sexuality

whichisemptyandfarfromwhatGod

intendedittobe.

In order to attain authentic sexuality,it

is important to balance the natural sex

drive with sociocultural family teaching

about sex and God’s plan for sex.To

facilitate this balance,the Balswicks (1999,

2008) suggested six basic biblical

principles regarding sex:

1. Humansexualityisestablishedin
   thedifferentiationof maleand
   femaleandtheunitybetweenthem.


2. Sexualityisagoodgiftmeantto
   drawustodeeperlevelsof knowing
   (ourselves,others,andGod).


3. Humansarebornwithaninnate
   capacityforsexualpleasure;this
   capacitycanbestdevelopwithinan
   emotionallycaring,trustworthy
   familyenvironment.


4. Sexualityandspiritualityare
   intricatelyconnected.


5. AftertheFall,sexualitywasdistorted
   andinneedof redemption.


6. Christoffersrestorationandrenews
   ourpotentialforauthenticsexuality.