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Chapter 5

compromisedwhenabelievermarriesa
nonbeliever.Righteousnessisincompatible
withunrighteousness;lightisincompatible
withdarkness,andmarriagebetweena
believerandnonbelievercreatesaspiritual
incompatibility.
Age.Ageisanotherimportantfactorin
spouseselection,especiallyinfirst
marriages.Sincemanyyoungpeoplemeet
incollegeandmarrysoonafterward,theage
differenceatfirstmarriageisaround2years,
withmalesbeingolder(Darroch,Landry,&
Oslak,1999).Whenmenremarry,ormarry
laterinlife,theytendtomarrywomen
considerablyyoungerthanthemselves.In
general,menarelesslikelythanwomento
marrysomeoneolderorlessattractivethan
themselves(Smith,1991).

Evolutionary Theory

Darwin’stheoryof evolutionisnot
acceptedbymanyChristians.However,
some social psychologists use the
evolutionarytheoryof mateselectionto
explainhowmenandwomenselectmates
through unconscious attraction to qualities of
fitness for bearing children and continuing
the species.
Physical Appearance.Whenaskedabout
beauty,menandwomentendtovalue
differenttraits.Poppsychologyclaimsmen
arevisuallystimulated,whilewomenare
romanticallyinclined.However,such
genderstereotypingisnotalwaysthecase.

Again,individualmenandwomenhave

differentvaluesandcrieriaforpleasing

physicalappearancesandattractions.

Bussandcolleagues(2001)identified

severalcharacteristicswhichbothsexes

considerveryimportantinapotential

marriagepartner,withphysicalattraction

beingoneof themostimportant.Inastudy

of 728,000Match.commembers,physical

attractivenesswasratedasthemost

importantcharacteristic,afterintelligence

andsenseof humor(Gardyn,2002).

Physicalappearancealsoplaysarolein

whatbothsexesfindattractive.Inher

articledescribingsexdifferencesinmate

preference,Denisiuk(2004)suggested

womentendtoidentifyattractivemenas

havingahealthfulappearance:symmetrical

features,clearskin,andwhitesclera(the

Physical appearance plays a role in mate

selection for both sexes.

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