Chapter 5
Types of Romantic Love.Thetypeand
strengthoftheloveisdeterminedbythe
relativeproportionsofintimacy,passion,
andcommitment,aswellastheir
interactions.Companionateloveishighin
intimacyandcommitment.Ittypifies
marriagesinwhichthepassionisgonebuta
deepaffectionandcommitmentremain.
Fatuousloveishighinpassionand
commitment,butislowinintimacy.Itis
exemplifiedbyawhirlwindcourtshipand
marriage,inwhichcommitmentisfueledby
passionwithoutthestabilizinginfluenceof
intimacy.Consummateloveistheonlystage
whichincludesallthreeinrelativelyequal
proportions.Itisthemostcompleteformof
loveandrepresentstheloverelationship
couplesstrivefor,butapparentlyfew
actuallyrealize.Sternbergwarnedthat
maintainingaconsummatelovemaybe
evenmoredifficultthanachievingit,andhe
stressedtheimportanceofturningthe
componentsofloveintoaction.“Without
action,eventhegreatestoflovescandie”
(Sternberg,1987,p.331).
While Sternberg’s triangle theory
provides some description of the different
kinds of love,even according to Sternberg,
it still doesn’t explain the phenomena of
love.Sternberg and colleagues (2001) have
further conceptualized a theory of“love as
a story,”in which one’s personal attributes,
as well as the environment,interact to
create an internal narrative or story,which
an individual then seeks to fulfill in a
relationship.These stories are highly
influenced by one’s family of origin and
the cultural messages one receives about
love (Sternberg,1998).In his research,
Sternberg (2001) has found that couples
with similar stories tend to be more
satisfied,while couples with divergent
stories tend to be less satisfied.A consummate marriage consists of intimacy,
commitment and passion.ImagefromBigstockPhoto.com/visual28- Intimacy is the feeling of closeness
between two people; - Passion is the drive which produces
physical attraction and romance,
and that leads to intercourse; and - Commitment is the decision to
further a loving relationship. - Sternberg suggests romantic love is a
combination of intimacy and
passion.Romantic lovers are bonded
emotionally and physically through
passionate arousal.