Love and Mate Selection:What’s Love Got To DoWith It??Crazy in Love.Anthropologistand
researcherHelenFisher(2004)hasused
neurophysiologicresearchtostudywhat
happenstoourbrainswhenweareinlove.
Shehasfoundcertainpartsofourbrains
exhibitincreasedbloodflowand“lightup”
onabrainscanduringtheearlypassionate
stageofarelationship.Sheconcludedthat
romanticpassionisactuallyhardwiredinto
ourbrains.Itisnotanemotionatall,butis
insteadadriveaspowerfulasourhunger
drive.Fishersuggeststhatpassiontriggers
thesameareasofthebrainwhichare
involvedinsubstanceabuse.Likeningloveto
adrug,shehasfoundthesamebasicbrain
chemicalstriggeredindrugabusearealso
triggeredinlove.Loveaffectsourenergy
levels,ourmoodswings,ourthinking,our
behaviors,andtoleranceofourpartners.
This seems to substantiate why people
in love sometimes do crazy things.Fisher
suggests couples in the first few months of
ecstasy feel madly in love and truly believe
their love will last forever.During this
time,they sometimes do things they
otherwise would not do.Celebrities are a
visible example of this phenomenon.For
instance,Britney Spears married Jason
Alexander on a whim.Their marriage
lasted 55 hours before it was annulled.
Johnny Depp tattooed“Winona Forever”
on his arm in honor of Winona Ryder,
later changing it to“Wino Forever”after
their break up.
Maybe you have done something
similar when you were in love,and later
could not explain why.Brain chemistry
can help explain these intense feelings of
love,as well as our behaviors while we are
in love,and the incredible pain we
experience when love fails.It is important to note here that while
this kind of passion may feel good at the
onset,it is impossible to sustain over a
prolonged period of time.A review of
Sternberg’s consummate love tells us that
while passion is important,it is only one
of three necessary elements of long-term
love.Time is required for all three to
develop.Ted Huston (2003),in studying
the relationship between the length of the
dating experience and marital success,has
found the closer the length of courtship
comes to the average of two and a half
years,the more successful the union will
be.Passion may blossom first and feel
very good,but it takes time for intimacy
and commitment to bloom fully.Brain chemistry can help explain the intense feelings of love,
as well as the incredible pain when a relationship breaks up.ImagefromBigstockPhoto.com/vvvstep