Chapter 6
first few years of marriage, reviewing the
changes occurring to each marriage
partner’s self-image, the couple’s
relationship to one another, and their
relationships to others. Even couples
who live together before marriage find
their relationships change after marriage.
In that context, we will explore the
difference marriage makes legally,
emotionally, and socially.
We also will examine biblical principles
for building strong marriages.The Bible
presents the framework for a successful
marriage,but the couple must work out
its own patterns and roles within that
framework.Each marriage is unique.
Thus,what worked for your parents or
grandparents may not work for you and
your spouse.In this chapter,we will also
reveal and debunk some common myths
about marriage.
Finally,we will give an overview of
choices in family planning.Will the couple
have children or remain childless?Will the
couple use contraception? If so,what is
available? If the couple chooses to have
children,how many children should they
have? These very important decisions
must be made early in the relationship.
Ideally,they should be negotiated even
before marriage.What Difference Does
Marriage Make?Abiblicalperspectiveofmarriagestands
instarkcontrasttosocietalacceptanceof
cohabitation.Inchapter4’sdiscussionof
dating,wesawthatGod’sWordisfilledwith
numerousreferencesregardingsexoutside
theboundariesofmarriage(Acts15:20;1
Corinthians6:13,18;Ephesians5:3;1
Thessalonians4:3;Hebrews13:4,for
example).Coupleswhoaresexuallyintimate
withoutbeingmarriedarelivingin
oppositiontoGod’swill.Inthiskindof
sinfulrelationship,theycannotexperience
theauthenticsexualityGodintendedfor
them.Premaritalsex,then,isa“disconnect”
fromGod’sintentionforsexuality.Itcan
causeconfusionandleadtosomereal
difficultiesbeforeandduringmarriage.
Likewise,manycoupleswhochooseto
cohabitbeforemarriagedosobecausethey
wanttoknowwhatmarriagewillbelike.
However,cohabitingcoupleswholater
marryreportcohabitationisdifferentthan
marriage(Cohan&Kleinbaum,2002).Couples who cohabit and then marry experience lower
quality relationships and a much higher divorce rate.HenrikSorensen/Stone+/GettyImages