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Chapter 6

Thefightingcanbesointenseforthese

couplesthattheycansayterriblyhurtful

thingsintheheatof anargumentthat

cannotbetakenbacklater.Emotionaland

physicalabusecanalsobeaproblemin

thesemarriages.Thedivorcerateforthese

couplesisthethirdhighestof thefivetypes.

Oftenthesecouplesbreakupandreconcile

overandoveragain,findingnew,less

intenserelationshipsboring(Hetherington

&Kelly,2002).

Cohesive/Individuated Marriage

Cohesive/individuatedmarriagesare

consideredbymostpeopletobeagood

marriage.HetheringtonandKelly(2002)

suggestthisisthetypeof marriagewhich

reflectsthevaluesof thebabyboomers—

genderequalityandintimacy(Amato,

Booth,Johnson,&Rogers,2007).These

marriagesareverygoodataccommodating

genderdifferences.Choresand

responsibilitiesaresharedwhile

maintainingautonomywithinthe

relationship.Thesecouplesfindthattimes

spenttogetherarethebesttimes,andtheir

relationshipservesasarefugefromthe

world.

Cohesivemarriagesarestableandhave

thesecondlowestdivorcerate.Whenthese

marriagesdobreakdown,itisfrequently

becauseonepartnerbrokethebalanceof

“us”andbecamemore“me”focused.

HetheringtonandKelly(2002)notethat

whenthesecouplesdivorce,thewomen

tendtodoverywellbecauseof the

emphasisinthemarriageof autonomy,

achievement,andself-expression.

Traditional Marriage

Inchapter3,weexaminedearlyand

mid-20thcenturymarriagetypeswhich

resemblecurrenttraditionalmarriages.

Thesemarriagesmaylooklikesomething

outof thepast,butitdoesnotmeanthey

don’twork.Infact,theyhavethelowest

divorcerateof allfivemarriagetypes.In

usingthetermtraditionalmarriage,

HetheringtonandKelly(2002)refertoa

marriageinwhichtherolesaretraditional

andveryclearlydefined.Inatraditional

marriagecontext,thewifeusuallyassumes

anexpressiverole,tendingtotheemotional

needsof thefamily,whilethehusband

assumesaninstrumentalrole,providingthe

Operatic marriages are full of intense emotion.

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