Marriage and Family Life: The EarlyYearsprimaryfinancialsupportforthefamily.
Bothpartnersmustagreeonthese
traditionalvaluesforthistypeof marriage
towork.
Thebiggestprobleminthesemarriagesis
change,especiallyifeitherspousebeginsto
behaveuntraditionally.Accordingto
HetheringtonandKelly(2002),insuccessful
traditionalmarriages,whenchangeoccurs
overaperiodoftime,itusuallychangesin
thedirectionofthehusband’svaluesrather
thanthewife’svalues.Whenthechanges
occurmoreinthewife,itoftenresultsinan
unhappy,dissatisfiedhusband.Ifthese
couplesdivorce,itisoftenthefirsttimethe
womanhasexperiencedherownautonomy
todiscoverherownstrengthsandtalents
apartfromherhusband(Hetherington&
Kelly,2002).
Biblical Model of Marriage
Newlymarriedcoupleshavemany
choicesavailableindecidingwhatmodelof
marriagetheywillselect.Willacouple
choosethetraditionalmarriage,inwhichthe
husbandandwifeoperatewithwell-defined
traditionalvalues?Orwilltheychoosea
cohesivemarriage,inwhichintimacyand
equalityarethehallmarkandbothpartners
contributeinallareastothemarriage?Or
shouldtheychoosesomecombinationor
accommodationbetweenthetraditionaland
cohesivemarriage?
Balswick andBalswick (2006)are
criticalof thesechoices,sayingboth
marriagemodelsfallshort of God’sdesign.
They suggest insteada biblicalmodelof
marriagewhich stressescovenant,grace,
empowerment,andintimacy.
AccordingtotheBalswicks(2006),
traditionalmarriagestressesacommitment
tomarriageasaninstitution,butdoesnot
alwaysstresscommitmenttoaparticular
spouse.Therefore,traditionalmarriage,as
interpretedbytheBalswicks,isfullofduties
andexpectationsratherthanmutualloveand
affection.Incontrast,abiblicalmodelof
marriageisacovenantbetweenpartnerswho
aremutuallysubmissive.Earlier,wedefined
mutualsubmissionasarelationship
characterizedbymutualgivingandreceiving.In the Biblical model of marriage, interchangeable,
flexible roles lead to intimacy and interdependence.©iStockphoto.com/Studio1One