Chapter 6
Couplesoftenfallintovarioustypes
orstylesof marriage,basedon
commitment,adaptability,authority,and
communication.Pursuer-distancer
marriagesinvolveonespousebeingaloof
andtheotherspousepushingformore
intimacy.Thistypeof marriagehasthe
highestdivorcerate.Adisengaged
marriageisoneinwhichthespouse
placesalowpriorityonintimacyanda
strongbelief inindependence.These
coupleshavethesecondhighestdivorce
rate,astheyjustdriftapart.Anoperatic
marriageisveryvolatile,withheated
argumentsfollowedbypassionatelove-
making.Thesemarriagesareproneto
abuse,andhavethethirdhighestdivorce
rate.Cohesive-individuatedmarriages
exemplifygenderequalityandintimacy,
allowingpersonalfreedominthe
relationship.Renewal,affection,support,
andcompanionshipareimportantin
thesemarriages,whichhavealowdivorce
rate.Traditionalmarriagestendtohave
definedrolesinwhichhusbandsgenerally
earntheincomeandwivesraisethe
childrenandkeephouse.Thesemarriages
havealowdivorcerateaslongasboth
spousesagreeontheroles.Incontrast,abiblicalmodelof marriagerepresentsa
covenantinwhichpartnersaremutually
submissivetooneanotherandtoGod.
Oneof themost important choicesa
couplemakesin theearly yearsof
marriageiswhether or not tohave
children.If so,when?Howmany?
Numerousoptionsfor birth control
includeboth naturalandartificialmeans.
Assistedreproductivetechnology is
availablefor thosecouplesdesiringa
child,whohavebeen unabletoconceive.
CoupleswhochooseART havemany
difficult decisionsbeyondthemedical
decisions,which includefinancial,moral,
ethical,andreligiousdecisions.The
themeof thischapter hasbeenchoice.
Thechoicesa couplemakesin theearly
yearsof marriagewillset thetone,
structure,andpatternsfor their later
yearstogether.Thecoupleneedsto
reevaluateandrenegotiatethesechoices
at regular intervalsthroughout the
marriage.Beforecommittingtoany
avenueof action,themarriagepartners
must present their questionstoGod,
seekinganswersthrough prayer,Bible
study,Christian advisors,anddeeply
honest communication with oneanother.