childrearingpractices?Inthischapter,we
willlookatsomeof theprimarychallenges
facingparentstoday.Wewillseethatwecan
changeourperceptionsof parenting,notby
watchingrealityTV,butbystudyingsome
fundamentalsof parentingandlearning
howtoapplythemtoreal-lifesituations.
Lessons in Kite-Flying:
Parenting Goals
Thekitemetaphor underscoresthetrue
goalof parenting:tohelpchildren mature
intohealthy,independent,productive,self-
disciplined,competent membersof society.
Tothis,Christian parentswouldaddthe
goalof helpingtheir children become
faithful,practicingChristians.ObedienceManyparentsseethegoalofparentingas
gettingtheirchildrentoobeythem.Is
obediencetheprimarygoalofparenting?In
Colossians3:20(NRSV),theApostlePaul
toldchildrento“obeyyourparentsin
everything,forthisisyouracceptableduty
intheLord.”TheGreekwordheusedfor
“obey”meanstolistenattentively,to
hearken,tohearandunderstand.Itisnot
thesamewordheusedelsewhere—a
militaryterm—tomeansubjectionortobe
subdued.Thefirstwordimpliesa
willingnesstolistenandinternalizewhatthe
parentistryingtoconvey.Thesecondword
bringstomindanunquestioningmilitary
responsetoacommand.Thetruegoalof
parentinggoesbeyondsimplydemandinga
behavior.Thetruegoalofparentingisan
internalizationofwhatisrightandwrong,
goodandbad,moralandimmoral.ProtectionWhen children are young,one of the
parents’primary goals is to protect themMarriage and Family Life: The ParentingYearsParentingislikekite-flying.Whenyou
begin,youkeepthekiteclose,workwith
it,andcarefullycontroleachmove.But
thegoalofkite-flyingisnottokeepit
close,buttowatchitsoar,towatchitdo
whatkitesdo.
Parentingislikekite-flying.Asyouand
thekitegrowinyourskill,youletthekite
outfartherandfarther.Butdangerscome
along—trees,wires,otherkites—andthen
youreelinthestringtobringthekite
closer.Youregaincontroland,asthings
stabilize,youletthestringoutagain.
Parentingislikekite-flying.Duringa
successfulkite-flyingexperiencewithmy
son,wewentintosupperandtiedthe
endof thekitetotheclothesline.Itwas
reallyupthere,andwewentinsidetoeat.
Whenwecameoutagain,thatkitewas
doingexactlywhatitwassupposedtobe
doing—itwassoaring,andwewere
proud.Itdidn’tseemtoneedusatall.
Parentingislikekite-flying.(Moitozo,2005)