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Chapter 7

Stage 4: Travel Agent - Stepping back, and
stepping up, to the activities as children go
through school

Thetravelagentstage,when children
are in elementary through middle school,
involves development of a new way of
interacting.As children develop more
autonomy and social skills,parents are
required to set realistic goals,motivate
their children,effectively communicate
with them,and establish authority.Parents
must revise their definitions of parenting
as their child enters a new developmental
stage.

Stage 5: Volcano Dweller - Exercising
damage control in one’s own life with
teenagers

During the teen years,thevolcano
dwellerstage,parents exist in a precarious
state in which adolescent mood swings,
demands,and hormone surges can
explode without warning.It is not unlike
the family manager stage (the
unpredictable toddler years),but the
stakesarehigher.Teenswrestlewith
identification,responsibility,andmaturity.
Clasheswith parentsover authority are
common.Parentsmust support their
teen(s)whilemaintaining their own
authority and responsibility for their
teenager.

Stage 6: Family Remodeler - Reevaluating

life as a parent of new adults

Thefamilyremodelerstage,thedeparture

stage,occurswhentheadolescentleaves

homeandparentsarelefttoreflectontheir

pastperformanceandtheirfuture

relationshipwiththeiradultchild.Muchlike

thespongestage,parentsexperiencechanges

intheirownidentityastheybegintoparent

anadult,imaginingwheretheirchildrenwill

goandwhotheywillbewith.Parents

strugglewithrestructuringadownsized

groupofindividualsintoafamily,asspouses

getreacquaintedwitheachotherandbegin

toredefinethemselveswithoutchildren.

In the travel stage, parents need to set realistic goals,

motivate their children, effectively communicate

with them, and establish authority.

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