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Chapter 7

to be the primary parent?Who will be the
nurturer or playmate?Who will be the
disciplinarian?Will these be shared roles
and to what extent will they be shared?
These are just a few of the new roles which
need to be negotiated between the couple.
These all involve a reworking of one’s
adult identity.As parents invest in these
new roles,their other interests and role
responsibilities will be affected.Things
which were important before they became
parentsarejust not asimportant anymore;
new responsibilities have taken their place.
In addition to taking on new roles,
parents will need to revise many previous
roles.If mom stays home,will she become
the primary homemaker? If she works,
how will homemaking responsibilities be
shared? If the couple was active in their
church or community,what role(s) will
they renegotiate after the baby is born?
The traditional family has often
encouraged dysfunctional patterns in role
establishment,creating over-involvement
of the mother and under-involvement of
the father—often to the detriment of the
child (Carter & McGoldrick,2005).

Potential Areas of Conflict

In addition to adjusting to boundary
transformations in the areas of family and
friends,marriage,work and family,and
roles,the transition to parenthood can be
riddled with potential conflict,both

internal and external.

Extended Family Involvement.The

transition to parenthood means a parallel

transition to grandparenthood.

Intergenerational themes come into play

here.Couples must come to an agreement

on extended family involvement.If one

spouse has had little or no involvement

with grandparents or extended family,it

will be difficult for that spouse to see the

need for extended family time.This can

become a source of conflict for the

couple.The more differentiated each

spouse is from the family of origin,the

easier this transition will be.In the

previous chapter of this text,we defined

differentiation as the process through

which a married person separates from

New parents must balance their needs for separateness and

connectedness, as well as meet the needs of the child.

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