Marriage and Family Life: The ParentingYearsTheauthoritarianstyleof
parentingcanbefurtherclassified
intotwosubdivisions:non-
authoritarian-directiveparents,who
exhibitallof thetypicalauthoritarian
characteristics,butwhoarenot
intrusiveorautocraticintheiruseof
power;andauthoritarian-directive
parents,whoarehighlyintrusivein
theiruseof powerandwhooften
translatethistocorporalpunishment
orspanking.Sidebar7.1briefly
examinesthedilemmaof spanking.
Harshandinconsistentpunishment
iscommoninthesehigh-control,
low-responsivehomes.Verbalput-
downsandfewexplanationsfor
punishmentoftenoccurin
authoritarianhomes(Hartup&
Laurson,2000).
Children raised in authoritarian
homes tend to perform relatively
well in school and do not exhibit
behavior problems.However,they
are likely to fear their parents and
avoid their company (Barber,2000).
They generally have poorer social
skills and lower self-esteem,and
have a higher risk of depression and
dysfunctional relationships in
adulthood (Hartup & Laurson,
2000).Children from authoritarian
homes also have a less internalized
self-directed sense of right and
wrong,relying more on external
authority (Neuharth,1989).SIDEBAR7.1
To Spank or Not to Spank?
Spankingiscertainlyatopicthatdivideschildresearchers.On
onehand,wehaveMurrayStrauss,foremostresearcherinthe
world on family violence.He suggests that 100% of children
havebeenspankedandblamesspankingforproblemssuchas
depression,juvenile delinquency,spousal abuse,and lowered
mentalability(Strauss,2001;Strauss&Stewart,1999).
OntheotherhandthereisRobertLarzelere,whohasover
2 decades of research on parental disciplinary practices,and
DianeBaumrind,suggestingthatmanystudiesontheuseof
spankingdonotdifferentiatebetweenspankingpracticedby
anonabusive,lovingparent(twoswatstothebottomwithan
open hand) and the impact of severe physical punishment
andabuse.Bothresearcherstakeamoremiddle-of-the-road
approach, saying it is better not to spank in favor of other
disciplinetechniques,suchastime-outsorwithholdingatoy.
However,an occasional swat on the bottom,when delivered
inthecontextofgoodchildrearing,hasnotbeenshowntodo
any harm (Baumrind,1991,2001; Larzelere & Kuhn,2000).
EvenJamesDobson,notedconservativeevangelicalChristian
familypsychologist,suggestsusingothersmeansofdiscipline
when possible. However in the case of child defiance, he
advocates spanking—with clearly defined guidelines—of
children between the ages of 18 months and 6 years, and
seldom,if ever,aftertheageof 10years(Dobson,1996).
Finally, in the debate over whether or not to spank,
Christians who trust the Bible as God’s inspiredWord must
also weigh the rare, but direct, advice Scriptures give on
parenting.It’shardtorationalizeawaytheProverbswarning
that“He who spares the rod hates his son,but he who loves
him is careful to discipline him”(13:24),as well as“The rod
of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself
disgraces his mother” (29:15). But there is, likewise, Paul’s
cautioninhislettertotheEphesiansto“notexasperateyour
children; instead, bring them up in the training and
instructionoftheLord”(6:4)andsimilarly,inhislettertothe
Colossianshewarnsparentsto“notembitteryourchildren,or
they will become discouraged”(3:21). So how that“rod”of
discipline (which clearly is meant to inflict some pain) is
applied,andtowhatage,iscertainlysubjecttointerpretation;
but ultimately the Bible not only allows, but encourages,
contextsfor“careful”spanking.