Marriage and Family Life: The ParentingYearsheightened emotional moment,parents
often revert to the way their parents
treated them.
However,other factors also are
important in further explaining the way
someone parents.Mark Bornstein (1998),
head of child and family research at the
National Institute of Child Health and
Human Development,has identified four
parental factors and one child factor
which impact how we parent.
Biological Component.First,a biological
component of our parentingstyleseemsto
point toa hardwiredmethodof relatingto
a baby.Haveyouever watchedhowan
adult interactswith a youngbaby?Often,
theadult speakstothebaby in a high-
pitchedvoicetoget thebaby’sattention.
Schorefounda biologicalconnection
between theactivation of thebaby’sbrain
in responsetotheparent,andtheresulting
activation of theparent’sbrain (1997,
2000).
Personality Component.Thesecond
parentfactorinvolvespersonalitytraits,
suchasintelligence,attitudes,childcare
knowledgeandskills,andtheparents’
motivationtobecomeinvolvedwiththe
child.Thehealthieraparentisemotionally,
themorelikelytheparentwillempathize
withthebabyanddeveloppositive
parentingskills,suchasresponsivenessand
predictability.Conversely,negative
personalitycharacteristics,suchasself-
centerednessanddepression,makeit
difficulttonurtureeffectively(Bornstein,
1998).Themorepositivetheparents’
interactionsarewiththebaby,themorethe
parentswilltendtoengageandnurturethe
child(Simmons&Dye,2003).The
characteristicsof thebabyalsoplayarole
inparentalbehavior.
Socioeconomic Component.Theparents’
socioeconomicstatus(SES)affectsthe
homecircumstances,attitudes,andactions
of parentstowardtheirchildren.If thereis
researchcontrolforSES,parentsmay
parentinthesameway;however,parentsin
ahigherSEShavetheabilitytoprovide
theirchildrenwithmoredailystimulation
opportunities,moreappropriateplay
materials,andmorelanguagedevelopment
(Bornstein,1998).Bornsteinsitesthe
“Zero-to-Three”surveywhichconfirms
thatyoungermothers,economically
disadvantagedmothers,andsinglemothers
feelparticularlyunpreparedforthe
overwhelmingroleof new mom (What
Grown-Ups Understand About,2000).The origins of childrearing beliefs are extremely complex
but one of the biggest determinants of parenting
style is how you were raised in your family of origin.©GettyImages