Chapter 7
Inthisoverviewof parenting,wefirst
examinedparentinggoalssuchas
obedience,protection,trust,and
responsibility.Theprimarygoalof
parentingistohelpchildreninternalize
knowledge,morals,andvalues—not
unquestioningcompliancetoparental
demands.Parentswanttheirchildrento
growandmatureintohealthy,productive
individuals.Childrenneedtobeableto
trusttheirparentsandtorelyontheir
wisdom,sothat,asthechildrenmature,
theywillcometotheirparentsfor
guidance.
Parentingisaprocesswhichinvolves
developmentalstages.Inthecelebrity
stage,parentsexperiencechangesin
extendedfamilystatusandasenseof
beingspecial.Thespongestage,which
beginswiththebirthof thechild,involves
bondingwiththechildanddevelopinga
parentalidentity.Duringthefamily
managerstage,whichbeginswhenthe
childisaround2yearsof age,parents
oftenfeelthemostineffective,asthechild
beginstochallengetheirparental
authority.Thetravelagentstage,from
elementarytomiddleschool,involves
settingage-appropriategoalsand
motivatingthechild,aswellascontinuing
toestablishauthority.Thevolcanodweller
stage,whichoccursduringtheteenyears,
involvessupportingtheteenwhile
maintainingsomeauthorityandresponsibilityovertheteen.Thefamily
remodelerstageisthedeparturestage,
whichbeginswhenthechildleaveshome
andultimatelyinvolvesestablishinga
relationshipwiththeadultchild.The
plateauparentingstageinvolvesbeingone
stepremovedfromparentingandreliving
lifethroughgrandchildren.Thefinalstage,
therebounderstageinvolvesacceptingand
embracingtheparent-childreversalas
one’shealthdeclines.
The transition to parenthood also
involves several boundary changes.
When a baby is added to the family,
changes occur in relationships with other
family members and friends.Changes
also occur in the marriage,including
renegotiating the roles each partner has
played and deciding how to maintain
intimacy in the marriage.Work and
family tensions are common with the
introduction of a child,often leading to
increased individual and marital stress.
The balance between nurturance and
control forms the basis for the four
primary parenting roles.Indulgent
parents are high on nurture and low on
control.Children from indulgent homes
often exhibit high self-esteem,but are
frequently immature and irresponsible.
Authoritative parents are high on
nurture and high on control.Children
from authoritative homes fare the best,
exhibiting initiative,social competence,
cooperative behaviors,and goodSummary