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Marriage and Family Life: The Middle and LateYears

partners,determiningif thereisa sufficient

amount of caringtoproceedtomarriage,

developingthepatternsof couple

communication anda sharedsenseof

conversation,learninghowtocompromise

andresolveconflictswhich arise,and

clarifyingoneanother’sexpectations

(contract)andlearninghowtointeract as

a couple(Nichols&Pace-Nichols,1993).

Seechapter 4on datingfor moredetailed

information on thisstage.

Stage 2: The Early Years—Expanding the

Base.TheNicholssuggesta“settling-into”

themarriage,whichincludeslearninghow

torelatetobothsetsof parentsfroman

adultperspective,andidentifying

yourselvesasacoupleintheextended

familynetwork.Thetasksinthissecond

stageincludedeepeningloyaltytoone

anotherwhiledealingwithexternal

attractions,redefiningthenatureof caring,

deepeningcommunicationwithone

another,rebalancingpowerbetween

spousesasroleschangewiththeadditionof

children.andreworkingtheco-executive

relationship of the couple.The Nichols

add a parental task to this stage as well:

adjusting to the addition of a child with all

the realities of establishing a nuclear

family and fulfilling the parental role

(Nichols & Pace-Nichols,1993).See

chapter 7 on parenting for more detailed

information on this stage.

Focus on Stage 3: Affirmation

and Preparation

According to the Nichols,marriage

partners examine the integrity of their

relationship during what he calls stage

three of the marital cycle.By this time

even a“good”marriage has experienced

many trials and tribulations.If a couple

has successfully integrated the core tasks

from previous stages,their relationship

will progress in a healthy manner toward

the next stage.If partners fail in their core-

task performance,then conflict and

marital disharmony will occur.This can

lead to marital dissolution.

The addition of a child to the family involves

establishing the nuclear family and

fulfilling the parental role.

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