Chapter 8Paradigm Shift.As people near their
middle years and their parents enter their
twilight years,the balance of power once
again may shift.Today,adult children are
increasingly responsible for the care of
their aging parents.Researchers agree
daughters are more likely to assume the
care of parents than are sons,with an
estimated one half to two thirds of adult
women assuming this role in their lifetime
(Cicirelli,2001,2003).
This is a particularly stressful period:
older adults grapple with their failing
abilities and adult children wrestle with
assuming the parental role for their
parents.Marriage and family therapists
often have the opportunity to work with
middle-aged adults struggling with these
transitions.Weighty questions can arise:
When can Mom no longer stay in the
house alone?When do we take the keys
away from Dad? Should we move Mom in
with us? Is a nursing home the right
decision for Dad?These questions do not have easy
answers.Compounding the stress,adult
children who are dealing with aging
parents may still be experiencing the
challenges of adolescent or young adult
children at home.Understandably,this
generation of adults is often referred to as
thesandwichgeneration—the period in
which one assumes responsibility for
aging parents,while at the same time
continuing to bear the responsibility for
childrearing.
Grandparents As Parents.Grandparents
raisinggrandchildrenisagrowingtrendin
America.AccordingtotheU.S.Census
Bureau,3.2%ofAmericanchildrenin1970
residedinahouseholdmaintainedby
grandparents(Casper&Bryson,1998).In
2006,8%of allchildrenlivedinahousehold
withagrandparent;themajorityof these
weregrandparent-headedhomes(Bergman,
2007).Somefactorswhichaccountforthe
riseingrandparent-maintainedhouseholds
includeparentalalcoholanddrugabuse,
childabuse/neglect,parentalincarceration,
teenpregnancy,HIV/AIDS,poverty,
abandonment,anddivorce.
Whilechildren can benefit
tremendously from a relationshipwith
their grandparents,beingraisedby
grandparentscan bedisadvantageousfor
children.If grandparentsarepast their
primeearningstatus,grandparent-headed
homesdonot fareaswellfinancially as
parent-headedhomes,with about 19%of
grandparent headedhomeslivinginMiddle years adults are often dealing with their aging
parents at the same time experiencing the challenges
of parenting adolescents.©JupiterImages