Layout 1

Marriage and Family Life: The Middle and LateYears

grandparent-grandchildinteraction.This

relationshipcanbringrichnessandstability

tochildren’slives.Currently,grandparents

arethenumberoneprovidersofchildcare

(followednextbyfathersandthenbydaycare

centers)forpreschoolchildrenwhose

motherswork(Smith,2002).

Grief and Loss in the Later Years

Theelderlyexperienceseverallossesas

theyage—thelossofmanyphysiological

functions,somelossofphysicalhealth,the

lossofphysicalability,sometimesthelossof

theirindependenceortheirhome,andthe

lossoffamilyandfriendstodeath.Alltoo

often,deathandbereavementareverymuch

apartoflifefortheelderly.Althoughpeople

ofallagesmayexperiencethedeathof

someoneclose,fortheelderly,theselosses

occurmuchmorefrequently.Sidebar8.2

illustratesinahumorouswaylossinthe

lateryears.

Building and maintaining close

relationships,such as a marriage,is related

to mortality.So significant is the loss of a

spouse,the chances of dying in the first 30

days after the death of a spouse increases

as high as 53% for men and 61% for

women.Time does help people heal and

after 1 year,the risk decreases to 21% for

husbands and 17% for wives after the

death of their spouse (Christakis,2006).

Sidebar 8.3 tells the story of one widow’s

lonely struggle.Coping with the death of a

spouse can be a very difficult and

confusing time.In addition to grief,loss,

and loneliness,the surviving spouse faces

many practical considerations:

arrangements to be made,financial

matters to handle,sometimes children to

care for,just to name a few.

The elderly experience several losses as they age—

physiological functions, physical health, physical

ability, sometimes their independence, and loss of

family and friends to death.

SIDEBAR8.2

When Being at the Wrong Place Isn’t“Wrong”

I remember laughing, but at the same time being

puzzledbyastorymyagingparentstold.Theylived

in a small rural town in the Midwest. When a

mutual friend died, they headed to the funeral

home.Theydidn’tchecktoseewhichfuneralhome

was handling the arrangements, so they found

themselvesatthewrongfuneralhome.Theystayed

anyway,laughingaboutitlater.Theyremarkedthat

itdidn’treallymakemuchdifference,becausethey

knewthatpersontoo.Ididn’tknowwhethertobe

horrifiedortolookatdeathasjustanotherpartof

life,andlaughwiththem.

—Anonymous

ImagefromBigstockPhoto.com/RagneKabanova