Chapter 8
On average,women live5.2yearslonger
than men,makingit morelikely for a wife
tolivebeyondher husband(Minino,
Heron,Murphy,&Kochanek,2007).While
women seem tofarebetter than men
emotionally after thedeath of a spouse,
they aremorelikely tosuffer financially.
Poverty ratesfor elderly women in 2006
were11.5%comparedto6.6%of older
men (U.S.Department of Health and
Human Services,2007).Socialisolation
andlonelinessareprevalent among
spouseswhohavelost their partners.Since
a woman ismorelikely tolivealoneafter
thedeath of her husband,sheshouldbe
encouragedtomaintain contact with
family,friends,andsocialnetworks,such
aschurch andcommunity organizations.SIDEBAR8.3
A Widow’s Story
Dorothy was a vivacious woman of 69, married to Robert, who was 70. They had a good life
togetherandsharedmanyof thesameinterests.SinceRobert’sretirement5yearsearlier,theyhad
traveled several times each year to different places around the world. They had participated in
missiontripstogetheronseveraloccasionsandwereactiveintheirlocalchurch.Theyplayedgolf
a couple of times a week and frequently got together with friends.
As Robert’s health began to fail, Dorothy devoted her time to seeing to Robert’s every need.
They were unable to get out like they used to,and even began missing church.Within 6 months,
Robert died, leaving Dorothy alone. At first, she was numb. She refused to wash his pillowcase
because it still had Robert’s scent on it.She cried,she screamed,she ached—and nothing seemed
to relieve her grief.Soon,she could no longer smell Robert when she cried on his pillow.
Thechurchtriedtocomforther.Herchildren,wholivedoutof town,triedtogethertocome
stay with them. Her friends called to check on her, but she had no desire or energy to get out or
see anyone, and she could not bear the thought of leaving the home she and Robert had made.
Soon,thecallscamelessfrequently.Even her children calledonly a coupleof timesa week.There
were days that she did not speak to another adult.Her life felt like an empty shell.
A year after Robert died, she started to get out a little bit. But her travel companion was not
there; her golf partner was not there—all the things she and Robert had shared required two
people.Shebeganoccasionallygoingouttolunchwithafriend.Shestartedgoingtochurchagain,
where she sat with the other women who had lost their husbands.But life was forever changed.
One year and 3 days after Roberts’s death,Dorothy died.The doctors said she died of a heart
attack,but those closest to her knew that Dorothy had died of a broken heart.
—Anonymous