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Marriage and Family Life: The Middle and LateYears

Midlife and Raising Children

For many Christians,midlife can be a
time to question how they are living,a
time to evaluate their Christian“walk.”
Far too many Christians measure both
their family success and their spiritual
success by the actions of their grown or
nearly grown children.Paternal
determinismoften still prevails in
Christian homes.This is a belief that if
you parent your children properly,they
will turn out well.If a child fails,acts
improperly,or even gets into serious
trouble,many Christian parents
question God.It is not uncommon to
hear parents try to justify their own
actions in the case of an unruly young
adult.“He [or she] was raised in the
church,”they might say.“Why would
God let this happen?”It is difficult for
them to understand that raising their
children in a Christian home will not
necessarily protect these children from
making poor or even devastating
decisions as young adults.
In chapter 7,we referred to the
analogy of kite-flying as it relates to
knowing how much string (freedom) to
give children.The goal of Christian
parenting is to raise children to become
the young men and women God wants
them to be.To this end,parents are

responsible for instilling character and

being good role models.What the

children do with these building blocks

ultimately is between them and God.

Parents eventually must release the kite

string.Christian parents who have done

their best to raise their children

according to Christian principles can

find reassurance in verses such as

Proverbs 22:6 (NLT):“Direct your

children onto the right path,and when

they are older,they will not leave it.”

Midlife and the Marital Relationship

One of the greatest dangers to

stability in the Christian marriage is the

growth of a hedonistic attitude in

society.Hedonismis the belief that

pleasure and happiness are the primary

goals of life.Once ascribed to men,

hedonism now seems to be equally

appealing to women.To the contrary,

there is support for the benefits of the

giving of ourselves and helping others,

which include health,happiness,and a

longer life (Post,Neimack,& Moss,

2007).

The sad commentary is that

Christians are not immune to hedonism,

despite its contradiction of Scripture.

Whether prompted by midlife crisis or a

desperate attempt to recapture the

excitement of an earlier time in their

A Christian Perspective