the key to a strong stepfamily (Visher,
Visher, & Pasley, 2003), and most research
has found a positive correlation between
the quality of the marital relationship and
the quality of the stepparent-stepchild
relationship (Stewart, 2007). In addition,
when the couple is proactive in the family
formation process and there is widespread
acceptance of the new partner and
marriage, it helps in the blending process
and contributes to the success of the
stepfamily (Michaels, 2006).
A Sense of Loss.Stepfamilies created by
divorce and remarriage are, by their very
nature, created out of loss.Adults suffer the
loss of a relationship with a former husband
or wife, even when they agreed the divorce
was necessary. The loss includes the dreams
and expectations of what the first marriage
could have been. Parents experience the loss
of a daily parent-child relationship. Most
adults also experience changes in support
from family and friends, a loss of a
familiar community, school, or job,
and loss of a familiar role in the
family (Ganong & Coleman, 2004;
Hetherington & Kelly, 2002).
Children experience many of
the same losses as adults, plus the
loss of both parents being present
on a daily basis. Children also
experience the loss of friends and
family members, as well as their
position in the family when step-
and half-siblings are added to the
family (Ganong & Coleman,2004).
Conflict.New relationships are
challenging for stepfamilies. The
stepparent-stepchild relationship is critical
for harmony in the new family. Love and
concern do not develop quickly between
stepparents and stepchildren, unlike the
seemingly instant love parents experience
for a new baby. Conflict and mistrust are
created when stepparents try to rush the
relationship (Carter & McGoldrick, 2005;
Ganong & Coleman, 2004; Hetherington &
Kelly, 2002). Support from the biological
parent is essential for developing respect
and trust of the stepparent. Conflict
between the stepparent and the stepchild
can become severe enough, especially with
adolescents, to cause the breakup of the
marriage. A strong, supportive couple
relationship is an important mediating
factor in this conflict (Visher,Visher, &
Pasley, 2003).Chapter 13
A stepfamily can give children a broader definition of family,
greater adaptability and coping, and a sense of belonging.© Fotosearch