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Chapter 14

Strong families communicate positively
with one another. They pay attention
when someone says or does something
deserving of a compliment. Instead of
becoming jealous because of a family
member’s achievement, they join with that
family member in celebrating the
achievement. They recognize special
talents, gifts, skills, and achievements, and
bring them to the attention of others—
both inside and outside the family
(DeFrain & Stinnett, 2002; Olson &
DeFrain, 2006).

Deal with Conflict Constructively

Every family member will make
mistakes, but strong families find ways to
encourage, love, and support each other in
spite of mistakes. They freely give love and
respect, not as a way to “buy” love, but as a
way to express true affection.
Conflict occurs in every family, even
strong families. Family members get mad,
criticize, and correct each other. Strong
families are able to deal with conflict in such

a way that it does not destroy a family

member or harm the family’s well-being.

Strong families employ constructive conflict

resolution methods to build up family

relationships rather than tear them apart.

Remember the Little Things

It is not necessary to throw a party or

post a compliment on a billboard to

express appreciation. Family members

can do this in simple, ordinary ways. For

example, you can write a note and put it

in a family member’s backpack, purse, or

briefcase. Notes can become family

keepsakes, treasures to be read over and

over, each time giving the reader a new

sense of how he or she is appreciated.

Planning a special date with a son,

daughter, or spouse also communicates

you care and want to spend time with

this family member.

All families have conflict but strong families are able to

deal with conflict in a way that does not harm family

members of their well-being.

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• “That was a mighty good dinner,
  Mom.”


• “Thanks, Dad, for putting gas in my
  car.”


• “Hey, Emily, you did a great job of
  coloring that picture!”