Chapter 14
Strong families know how to balance
togetherness and separateness (Olson &
DeFrain, 1999; Olson & DeFrain, 2006).
Family time should be satisfying for all
family members. Children will be more
amenable to family time if they see their
parents giving up activities to spend time
with them. It is important to have one-on-
one time with every child. This can be
difficult for families to accomplish,
especially with several children in the
family. Because this is a way to help
children feel valued and loved, parents
should strive for one-on-one time with
children. One recommendation is a“date
night”with each child once a month.
As important as it is for parents to
arrange for one-on-one time with their
children, it is equally important for parents
to foster regular alone time for themselves.
By nurturing their own relationship, they
strengthen the marriage. Since children
learn from their parents how marriages
work, this also is a good way to model
positive marital relationships for them.
The stronger the marriage, the better the
modeling children receive about marriage
and family life. In our busy world, parents
often neglect their own relationship. As
their children grow older, parents may
discover their neglected relationship is
deteriorating. Courtship (remember that
term from chapter 5?) should continue
through all the years of a marriage.Spiritual Well-Being
According to research, strong families
share a high degree of religious orientation.
(Krysan, Moore, & Zill, 1990; Larson &
Olson, 2004; Olson & DeFrain, 2006;
Stinnett & DeFrain, 1985). In addition to
attending church together, they often pray
together and read the Bible and other
inspirational materials together. They share
the ups and downs of their faith with one
another. Because they have a common
belief in something greater than
themselves, they share common values and
beliefs, giving them a sense of unity and
purpose. Their spirituality provides
guidelines by which the family lives.
Spirituality also may reinforce family
traditions and family history (Olson &
DeFrain, 1999; Olson & DeFrain, 2006).Parents need alone time to nurture
their relationship.© Fotosearch