Chapter 2
homes for substantial periods of time for
work.Having“things”became more
important than relationships for these
commodified families,placing increasing
pressure on families to bring in money to
meet the family’s demands for more and
more things.
Duringthe1800s,theAmericanfamily
transformedfromapublicinstitution,whose
functionwasprimarilyeconomic,intoone
whoserolewaspsychologicalandideological.
Thistransformationbroughtaboutanew
andmoredemocraticfamilyform.Thisnew
familyformfeaturedtwohallmarks:(1)
companionshipandmutualaffection
betweenspousesand,(2)compassionate
concernregardingchildrearing.
A Companionate Notion of Marriage
The view of family changed to one of a
private retreat instead of an integral part
of the surrounding public institutions.For
instance,apprentices and servants were
moved out of the home into separate
dwelling areas.The early part of the 1800s
was marked by a rapid rise in the
population,but the end of the century saw
a lower birth rate.This resulted in smaller,
more isolated families.This nuclear family
included the father,mother,and children,
rather than a household of kin groups.
A new division of domestic roles
emerged as women were assigned full-
time care of the children and maintenance
of the home.Previously,the formality of
patriarchal authority had characterized
the relationship between spouses.Now,
fewer spouses referred to one another as
“Mister”or“Mistress”and fewer husbands
used the term“Dear Child”for their wives
(Mintz & Kellogg,1988).Wives began
referring to their husbands by their first
name or used a pet name.With the change
in attitude toward marriage,more
weddings took place in churches and the
ceremonies were more solemn and
elaborate.Many brides began to wear a
wedding band or ring,the symbol of
everlasting love.
What we often call traditional
Christian marriage today would closely
resemble the Christian marriage of the
enlightenment period.There was a
growing rejection of the old notion of
marriage as an economic exchange
between two families (Mintz & Kellogg,
1988).Marriage increasingly symbolized
an emotional bond between two people,
reflecting genuine affection and equality
between husbands and wives.A new,more
companionate notion of marriagewas
emerging,as the older ideals of patriarchal
authority were diminishing.The goal of
this new style of marriage was personal
happiness.With a growing emphasis on
love in marriage,the basis for determining
the success or failure of a marriage
became the ability to give and receive love.
The Victorian Ideal.By the mid- 1800s,
society began to change rapidly as a result