away from it? They could listen. Now, you may be asking yourself, “Yes, but
what are they supposed to listen to? The Monsons aren’t speaking.”
Let’s listen to a conversation the Monsons recently had with each other
in the privacy of their home. If Ben and Mary had known this, they might
have proceeded differently.
“You know, Ray, since the boys have gone off to college, I just don’t
have the same energy I used to have. I used to love seeing them off to school,
helping them with homework, taking care of their clothes, cooking for them.
They were my life.”
“It sure does feel different around the house with the twins gone. Home
seems pretty empty. I didn’t think about how their absence affected you.”
“Well, it’s not that I’m just twiddling my thumbs, but here we are with
everything we need, yet life doesn’t seem to hold the same interest for me.
Maybe I’m just bored.”
“Why don’t you get involved in more country club activities? You know,
cards, lawn bowling, golf, things like that.”
“Really, Ray, I would think you know me better than that. I want to be
helping people, not whiling my time away on myself. I want to make a differ-
ence in people’s lives.”
“Funny thing—today Ben asked to sit down with us and share some-
thing he and Mary recently became involved with. He seems pretty happy
about it. Want to meet with them and see if it interests you?”
“Absolutely. I’m open to anything.”
Would Ben and Mary have given the same presentation of the busi-
ness if they had been privy to the Monsons’ conversation? Let’s hope not.
They would have heard that Judy does not value money, fun, cars, or hang-
ing around with fun people. She values accomplishment and helping and
making a difference in the lives of others. Ray seems supportive of his wife
and an all-around nice guy, so Ben and Mary should see a golden opportu-
nity here.
Ben and Mary live in a world where do-overs are commonplace. They
get to do their presentation over again. But because they still don’t know
about the Monsons’ conversation, what can they do to find out what you just
found out? They will need to listen this time.
When Ben and Mary greet their friends, Ben motions them to a table at
the restaurant and asks them about their twin boys. How are they? Where are
they going to school? What’s it like at home with the boys out on their own?
What changes have come about in Ray’s and Judy’s lives?
Ben’s questions are open-ended. He waits for whatever responses his
friends have. Ben and Mary are genuinely interested in this change in the
Monsons’ lives. They both engage in active listening. As Mary listens between
the words, she hears wistfulness in Judy’s voice and hears her desire to be do-
ing something important for people, something helpful.
Values-Based Selling 131