... Gabriel Morrispaused for a moment as it came to my neck and the base of my skull
and then exploded into my brain.
At that moment, I was assaulted by a rush of energy so powerful
that I literally thought it might kill me. It seemed to last an eternity
and yet only for. It felt much like an explosion or and electric shock. I
surrendered to this sudden flood of energy as it engulfed me, because it
was so unanticipated that I had no time to even attempt to resist it.
As the rushing sensation eventually began to subside, I was re-
lieved to find that I had survived. I hoped that the gentle, peace-
ful presence I had anticipated would now replace the terrible and
unexpected shock I had just received, but unfortunately, I couldn’t
have been more wrong. I was horrified to find an overwhelming ter-
ror roaring into my consciousness that, for the moment, eradicated
from my memory my earlier recollection of childhood fear. An ever-
mounting, cascading, crashing wave of crushing terror overtook me,
as if a dam had broken between my conscious and subconscious
minds and I were being flooded by unresolved experiences and feel-
ings buried deep within my soul. I waited for these overwhelming
feelings either to render me unconscious or else to pass through me
and then subside. But they did neither.
As the minutes wore on, the erratic energies crashing through me
became only more intense and unbearable. I was soon consumed
by the wish that I hadn’t done whatever it was I had just done. My
previous emotional turmoil—and even the frightening childhood
memory— were but feathers compared to the incredible weight of
psychosis that was now beginning to descend on me.
I soon began to notice within myself more explosions of energy,
like aftershocks of an earthquake. They came as if from the darkness
of my own mind, closer and closer to my conscious awareness until I
was hit by a steady wave of electric shocks in successively increasing
intensity.
As I lay there on my back feeling crushed, bombarded, and over-
powered by something I couldn’t even identify or locate in my con-
sciousness, I kept thinking, “This has to subside, this has to go away